Just over a year ago I was a social hermit. I spent most of my nights alone, in a dark little computer room, wasting countless hours online playing World of Warcraft and masturbating. I literally had no local friends to speak of and I honestly didn’t have any interest in making some. I had Marcus, I had my sex-filled sex job, I had my video games, I was content. But then Marcus started going out more and I began to feel like a loser. I figured something had to change. I tried sleeping around more but… that didn’t make me feel any cooler. I tried making heterosexual nerdy gamer friends but none of them were comfortable with my skanky gay job. Marcus suggested that I make some gay friends but I have this problem of seeing gay boys as sex toys not as friendship material. Eventually Marcus just went ahead and handpicked potential new gay friends for the both of us to meet. Marcus always prefaced each boy with, “this is STRICTLY platonic, no sex.” Of course that meant nothing to me and every potential new friend he brought over I ended up blowing… or fucking… Usually that would make Marcus feel uncomfortable afterward and he would automatically discard them but he was determined to make friends. So he swallowed his pride while I swallowed their loads all in the hopes that he could turn some of these boys into legitimate cronies. After the sex was out of the way he would force me to sit down with these boys and hang out with them. To my surprise, most of them have actually turned into some of my closest friends. I have GAY friends now. And they don’t even fuck me anymore. They come over, we hang out, we drink, and we watch movies, but for some reason we don’t have massive orgies, no one gets gang fucked, and no one coats my throat with wads of jizz. It’s strange. What’s the point of having a sausage fest when no one is going to be eating meat?

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