I live in a house full of sluts and whores.

First, we have Marcus, who moved back in because he didn’t want to live with his family and he couldn’t afford a place of his own, not a nice place anyway. Marcus is the closeted slut. Yes, Marcus and I broke up because I’m the one with a sex addiction and yes, I am a bigger slut than he is. But all that does not negate the fact that Marcus himself is a big ole cock-hungry cum pig. He may seem to be relationship focused but don’t let his bleeding heart dramatics and “I like romantic walks on the beach” spiel fool you. Sure he may ultimately be wanting love but he’ll take whatever it is you have to offer, like a throbbing, cum-spewing hard-on for example.

Then there’s Aiden Ash, who also recently broke up with his boyfriend and who also can’t afford a place of his own. He is a whore. A big one at that. You can call him the charity slut. He isn’t as dirty or daring as I am in terms of the things he is into BUTT he certainly isn’t discerning about who he spread his legs for either. A self-proclaimed size-queen, your penis is what he cares about most. If you have a big dick and you can host, then you have a no holds barred pass into the ass of Aiden Ash. Or you could just buy him dinner. Either way he’ll probably sleep with you. He is all about quantity not quality. Adam4Adam is his crack and ClubHouston is his second home.

Next we have Porter. Porter is more of the attention whore than an actual whore. Whatever the topic of conversation, whether it be AIDS in Africa or Bananas in Pajamas, Porter will always find a way to make the conversation about him. And he talks, alot, about himself. What’s that? Generic Gay-trash boys said something about Porter’s yet to happen porn debut? Porter saved three little girls from a burning building? Porter has two crazy ex-boyfriends that are still madly in love with him? And even when he isn’t talking about himself, he has other ways of grabbing your attention. Like walking around the house naked, setting his ringtone to earsplitting obnoxious, and moaning so fucking loud when he is cumming that it reverberates through the entire house.

And then we have Shepard. Shepard doesn’t officially live here but he is over here quite often. Shepard is the “Call me your boyfriend because it sounds better than slut” slut. Sometimes he cums and sleeps over. Mostly he just cums and goes. But occasionally he’ll sleep over, then cum, and then go. His oversized tool and incredibly talented tongue make Shepard high in demand so he works on a rotating schedule. I had him in May and June. Marcus had him in July and August. And Porter has had him since October. I eagerly await the return of my turn. You can find Shepard trolling the halls of Manhunt and Craigslist late at night. Usually just out of “boredom.” Because manhunt profiles and Craigslist ads make for a really great read. Late at night.

Last but most certainly not least there’s me. I’m pretty sure we are all on the samepage when I say that I, Mason Wyler, am a very very very big slut. And I’m single. I have been single for more than 30 days. I became single because I wanted to sleep around guilt-free but the last time I got dick was October 15th 2009. I don’t get it. I don’t want to go on dates. I don’t want a boyfriend. I don’t want to fall in love. I just want to get laid. Is that really too much to ask for?

P.S. I love my housemates. Those whores. More pictures below…

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